Engineering Joke

Managerese vs. Engineerese

Managerese Engineerese
Adjust schedule Slip schedule
Advise Order
Ambitious Unlikely
Aggressive. Very Unlikely
Challenge Frustration; a dirty job nobody wants
Compatibility Impossibility (see “Transparent change”)
Contribution Anything a manager likes
Controlled introduction Let the customer do the CA
Couldn’t reach consensus Total disagreement
Critical path Something that only a short project can be on
Diagnostics Something that might give us a clue
Dynamic Unstable
Elevated to mgt. level Dead
Encouraged Ordered
Encouraging process No tangible results
Exciting Frightening
Functionally complete Can do something that appears to work for any feature
Growth opportunity Learning experience
Helping people Telling people what to do
Historical Nobody remembers why
Inappropriate Stupid (see “Non-optimal” and “Stupid”)
Individual contributor Regular grunt engineer
Interesting Bear in mind the Chinese curse “May you live in interesting times”

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